UNFORTUNATE CHAIN OF EVENTS LEADING UP TO PLUTO’S LOSS OF PLANETHOOD

Pluto loses car keys

Pluto steps in dog crap

Pluto’s July horoscope warns of “personal challenges ahead”

Pluto’s rent check bounces

Pluto’s Mustang suffers blown head gasket

Pluto constantly late to work

Pluto’s girlfriend of three years leaves Pluto

Pluto charged with solicitation of a prostitute

Pluto becomes increasingly depressed

Pluto seeks answers in a bottle of Wild Turkey