Don’t forget, this paper is part of a collection of Wookiee scientific reports that will be published in the print edition of the SCQ. More details can be found here. Annals of Praetachoral Mechanics. (2014). Vol 1. pp71-88 pdf download ABSTRACT Since the rise of Force-vector injections (FVIs), the incidence of early-onset CD (eCD) has escalated significantly, with a large impact on quality of life in the wookiee community. However, while a large number of wookiees became afflicted with eCD, a small number remained healthy. This study first aimed to discover any genetic discrepancies between wookiees who developed eCD following…
The Science Creative Quarterly
The Science Creative Quarterly (SCQ) is not a quarterly, but instead publishes new material at a non-linear rate. Currently, it is sleeping and in a sort of stasis (turpor?) It used to seek science writing of any genre, and your contribution would have involved checking out our submissions guidelines.
The Science Creative Quarterly (SCQ) has a single print edition so far (half SCQ pieces, and half fake science journal – see here for more details). Also, badges?
Stay safe everyone!
BUTTERFLIES
(for Julie Bianca Dahl) Surgeons in an airport bus are lions at a zoo. They laze, dimly happy to see you. Tails barely flickering in the stagnant savannah air, Khaki pants sticking to pleather seat cushions, They look up only when you mention meat. Their forearms are clean, but you can smell the blood, See the line of skin roughened from washing. I tell them that I paint the body parts they move. We speak of organs as objects of art, The pinking liver finding itself alive in a new home, The invigorated pancreas, spurting kidneys—oh, joy of piss! Above…
REASONS WHY IT WOULD BE UNFORTUNATE TO NAME YOUR CHILD “EBOLA”
He/she is always picked last in gym. All the dumb predictable jokes, as in: “Look, Ebola has just entered the room…” The constant requests to wash his/her hands. The confusion when prospective employers google his/her name. Always being asked to dress up in HazMat gear at Halloween. When travelling, airport security tends to freak. The awkwardness in cooking class. Family and friends insist that he/she not blow out his/her own birthday candles. Santa would rather not pose with him/her for pictures. That chaos that ensues whenever he/she asks for a bandaid. Because he/she will be misunderstood, bullied and misinterpreted by…
THE QUEST
Once upon a time in the Land of Lab, there was a Princess and two Princes working hard on their Graduate Student projects. One day, the King of the Lab called Princess Jane and Princes John and Robert into his Regal Office. “Tell me,” he said. “How goes the quest in the Lab?” “It goes slowly, sir,” they sighed. “Ah, it is as I thought,” said the King. “Would not a Contest of Skills focus the mind and enhance your activities? I propose that a new Quest begin today! Each of you shall leave my office forthwith and lose yourself…
AND GOD SAID, “LET THERE BE DINOSAURS!”
Let there be light! Let there be Heaven and Earth! Let there be mortal souls created in Mine own image, gifted with reason and free will… in a bit. First, let there be a bunch of giant fucking monsters everywhere! In My infinite wisdom, I know that populating Earth with millions of Godzillas will be awesome. Humongous monsters with silly little arms! Tiny monsters that hunt in packs! Monsters covered in bulletproof plates with spikes for tails and ocean monsters and flying monsters that terrorize the skies and HOLY SHIT THIS WILL BE VERY FUCKING COOL. Using the divine power…
RISK ASSESSMENT SONNET
I can’t keep up with myself. I’ve tried vanes, sun dials, plotting wells. I put a thousand pebbles, feathers, crystals on the shelf – no more scrying with poker chips and shells. The best call at the table is, you lose. The best prediction in life is, you die. So? So what if I cruise for a bruise with this scattering of cards, sigh of upgathered wings, reshuffling of things? I’m not trying to throw the game, I just wanted to build houses instead of peacock tails, haunted not strutting, filled with wet clay and kick wheels – not Mings.…
THE FOUR PILLARS REVISITED (PART 1 OF 5)
Prevention, treatment, harm reduction, and enforcement—Vancouver’s four pillars. It’s the most progressive drug plan of any city in North America. But its authors fear that the pillars are crumbling. This is part one of the Four Pillars Revisited. Our 5-part season-opener, produced by our sister site (terry.ubc.ca) in partnership with The Tyee, and syndicated at the University of Victoria and Simon Fraser University in Burnaby. Subscribe on iTunes | MP3 | RSS | Download our Smartphone App | Listen on CiTR 101.9FM: Every Thursday, 5PM To read more and hear extended interviews, please click here.
NEUROTECH LIGHT AND DARK
A brain-computer interface controls her robotic arm. As easily as not thinking, she uses it to drink another shot of tequila. I feel a tic escape, as my deep brain stimulation implant remodulates its signal. But I’m not dropping my coffee anymore. The veteran’s brain implant doesn’t control his PTSD symptoms well, plus he has paranoia about mind control experiments by the government. A technician sends the telerobotic neurosurgeon a brain scan on her phone. A crack in the screen leads to the patient becoming a savant. An fMRI scanner noisily starts up. An undetected tattoo heats up from metal…
MONSANTO DOES NOT CONDONE CANNIBALISM
Monsanto does not condone cannibalism. We do not endorse the systematic harvesting of mortal flesh for mass consumption. We do not drool at the thought of rendering a bountiful population of citizens into edible chunks of protein. None of us here fantasize about a future in which the farming of our fellow man is a viable practice. I just want to get that out in the open. Take it from me. I am one of thousands of Monsanto employees not brainstorming concepts for packaged foodstuffs made from human body parts. Like my colleagues, I did not sign an NDA which…