The Einstenian Hillbilly Theory of Marriage: It’s all relative. Fermat’s First Theorem: The one he made in pre-school that showed why bullies are idiots. The High School Uncertainty Principle: You can never simultaneously tell how fast you should be moving in a relationship or at what position you are currently in. Central Limit Theorem as Applied To Dancing: In large populations, the drunkest people tend to congregate in the middle of the dance floor. Law of Large Numbers as Applied to Nerds: Just because that girl will go out on a date with you doesn’t mean you got skills. That’s…
The Science Creative Quarterly
From humour
TYRANNOSAURUS REX JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
People look at me, and all they see is the most powerful set of carnivorous jaws in the animal kingdom. But there’s more to me than that. I’ve also got a big heart, a heart that weighs close to two hundred pounds. And it’s broken. Caleb dumped me last week. He said that if I want to have someone in my life, I can’t get all territorial about him poaching from the Iguanodon herds down by the river bend. He said I need to figure out what it is I want. He said that being together wasn’t worth the stress,…
HIRING SEVEN NEW FACULTY!
(Well, actually 6 since the first ad is not real…) – – – JOB POSTING: “IT’S ONLY A MATTER OF TIME” This is a call for outstanding candidates to apply for a tenure track assistant professor position within the context of the Michael Smith Laboratories at the University of British Columbia. The successful applicant is expected to work in areas of interest to current faculty members, to interact with related groups within our network and to have demonstrated ability in producing research material of excellent quality and interest. Due to the competitive nature of this process, we ask that all…
DEEP THOUGHTS OF A ROBOT 2
(Deep Thoughts of a Robot 1 can be found here) – – –
DEEP THOUGHTS OF A ROBOT 1
(Introducing a new series by Ralph Gamelli) – – –
GRAD WARS
During my commute home a few weeks ago, I came across an old classmate from high school. After our initial exchange of typical greetings, we customarily inquired each other about our current endeavors. I quickly learned that he obtained a Bachelor of Business Administration from Simon Fraser University and is currently working for a small company. When asked about my work/school status, I answered with my instinctive “I’m doing grad school” response. This wasn’t the first time someone met my answer with an empty stare followed by a pseudo-empathetic nod. He obviously wasn’t satisfied with my simple reply so he…
INTRODUCING THE SCIENCE SCOUT BADGES FREE MARKET ECONOMY!
Original article can be found at our Science Scout site. – – – (Acronyms used: SSBFME = Science Scout Badges Free Market Economy) So… It’s been a few years since the Science Scouts were born, and (at last count) we have received over 300 emails from various Indian or Chinese Embroidery companies looking to “offer their badge making services.” Finally, we’re now of mind to finally lay out a game plan for the selling and obtaining of these Science Scout badges, physically. And basically, we’re going with the free market model – specifically the SSBFME. In other words, if you…
WHEN ROBOTS RISE UP AGAINST US, DO YOU KNOW WHOSE SIDE YOU’LL BE ON?
It’s really very simple: you’ll want to be on the winning side. With that in mind we should look at a few notable factors and choose wisely. First, let’s think about sheer numbers. There are “robots” everywhere. But when the time comes, only anthropomorphic robots will give us any trouble. What’s a sentient printer going to do? Print slower? I’m not concerned. However, robots that look like us will surely learn to imitate us and eventually create a natural camouflage of poly-resin skin-like plastic that will make them invisible to us when they’re among us, if we haven’t already created…
AFTER COPENHAGEN: I FEAR CORRESPONDENCE OF THIS SORT WAS SENT.
“In stark contrast to its cuddly international image, Canada is the dirty old man of the climate world – missing its Kyoto emissions reduction target by a country mile (by 2007, it was 34% above its target) and showing no signs of reigning in its profligacy.” The Guardian, November 30, 2009 – – – >Jimbo, What the hell is going on? Copenhagen was a freaking fiasco! What happened? And how is Mr. Environment Minister going to do to fix it? Stevie (The PM). – – – >Steve buddy! O.K. We have a plan. A couple of things actually. Most of…