(WINNER OF OUR KEYWORD: EVOLUTION CONTEST) Charlie wears broken glasses held together with tape and toothpicks. He is unemployed and occupies a one-bedroom apartment in Westchester, California, a half-mile northeast of LAX. Charlie eats in his car. His 1991 Nissan Stanza is a mausoleum of fast food, Frito Lay and Little Debbie wrappers. When Charlie was in the sixth grade, some of his classmates took to calling him “blubber butt.” Although the nickname didn’t stick, he has not quite gotten over it. Limulus is a distant relative of the sea spider and one of the oldest creatures in the ocean.…
The Science Creative Quarterly
From creative
A MISPLACED CHAPTER FROM THE BOOK OF GENESIS
And lo, it came to be that God was sitting around in his Lazy-God recliner one quiet millennium, and He sayeth unto His Godlike self: “God is bored and needs some entertainment.” And lo, God created the Earth and all it’s inhabitants without getting up from the Lazy-God chair, even whence God needed the occasional short beer break while working, still He did not leave His chair, but simply reached into His Almighty Demi-God Fridge which He always keepeth beside the Lazy-God chair. Late in the week, as one Godlike afternoon twinkled into evening, God looketh down upon His new…
COW: A STORY
While waiting for the robot, the cow had built a fire to warm herself. The sun was old and gave little heat this far north. When it came, they both sat by the fire and conversed while they watched the moon rise. The cow asked, “You don’t feel cold and yet you enjoy the fire. How can that be?” The robot flexed its arm and replied, “Warmth helps, I haven’t changed to a lighter oil for winter yet. I get very stiff. I suppose you have come for a calf. “Yes”, she replied. “I haven’t had one for nearly two…
EVOLUTION
(Note this is the first of five entries acquired from our “Keyword: Evolution” contest. Stay tune for Friday, when winning entry will be displayed). – – – – – It may take one smart spin or a hundred turns to burn revolutions into our minds, to create new synapses, blunders free of tattered storybook blurbs, to account for brilliant emergence of a universe blinking in billions of years, raising us from turds through countless failed goals into dreams of souls. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
A COLEOPTERIST’S COLOUR-BY-NUMBER
(a hand tinted plate) Hand-tinted plate of Otiorhynchus ovatus. For hand-tinting, color each area in the drawing by the number in that area, using the following color code: 1: brown
BABY STUDIES BIO
Baby studies bio, and I study biochem. Baby studies bio, and I study biochem. She likes her bio buddies, But they don’t like me and I don’t like them. Baby studies organs, but I like to grind them up. I said Baby studies organs, but I like to grind them up. One gram of pure enzyme Is all I need to fill my cup. What’s the matter, Baby? Why you been in lab so long? I said what’s the matter, Baby? Why you been in lab so long? You shouldn’t waste your time Recording redwing blackbird songs. Baby studies bio,…
A YEAR OF FLORA: THE FLOWER MANDALA CONTEST
(Images are copyrighted David J. Bookbinder, 2005) The SCQ is pleased to present a contest that seeks “creative” entries inspired by the photographic images found in David Bookbinder’s Flower Mandalas Project. These creative pieces can be composed to the whim of the author, in any form including (but not limited to) poetry, fiction, and/or personal essay; and should preferably refer to a specific flower image found either here or at the main website. Two book prizes will be made available to the favourite two submissions, being “The Book of 101 Books: Seminal Photographic Books of the Twentieth Century” by Andrew…
A GAME THEORETIC APPROACH TO THE TOILET SEAT PROBLEM
The toilet seat problem has been the subject of much controversey. In this paper we consider a simplified model of the toilet seat problem. We shall show that for this model there is an inherent conflict of interest which can be resolved by a equity solution. Consider a bathroom with one omnipurpose toilet (also known as a WC) which is used for two toilet operations which we shall designate as #1 and #2. The toilet has an attachment which we shall refer to as the seat (but see remark 1 below) which may be in either of two positions which…
HIPPOPOTAMUS
Many years ago, a hippopotamus decided to learn typing. As you may imagine, the task was difficult and discouraging. The hippopotamus however was unusually persistant. First she learned the parts of the typewriter, then she studied all available typing manuals, (even one for an antique which had neither name nor function in any western language; It could best be likened to a linotype machine which set type for haiku poetry in Japanese.) and finally she enrolled in a good secretarial school. In spite of her diligence, there were some practical difficulties; in fact so many that the best of her…