1. A chemical microbiologist, a pathologist and a clown are flying in a small commuter plane between Kansas City and Omaha. Halfway there, the plane bursts into flames and the pilot bails out. The passengers discover there are only two parachutes. Which one dies? 2. 1,4-dihydro-2,6-dimethyl-4-(2-nitrophenyl)-3,5-pyridinedicarboxylic acid dimethyl ester walks into a bar. On the stools next to it are a leprechaun, a unicorn, and Santa Claus. The bartender has a keg of Guinness, a bag of oats, and a plate of cookies behind the counter. He says to the newcomer, “These three regulars beside you are mean bastards if…
The Science Creative Quarterly
By tommiller
Tom Miller nearly went to medical school. He currently works at the University of Notre Dame and is at work on his second novel.
JOKES WITHOUT PUNCHLINES TAKEN FROM A CELLULAR BIOLOGY LABORATORY
– FROM THE ARCHIVE – 1. A chemical microbiologist, a pathologist and a clown are flying in a small commuter plane between Kansas City and Omaha. Halfway there, the plane bursts into flames and the pilot bails out. The passengers discover there are only two parachutes. Which one dies? 2. 1,4-dihydro-2,6-dimethyl-4-(2-nitrophenyl)-3,5-pyridinedicarboxylic acid dimethyl ester walks into a bar. On the stools next to it are a leprechaun, a unicorn, and Santa Claus. The bartender has a keg of Guinness, a bag of oats, and a plate of cookies behind the counter. He says to the newcomer, “These three regulars beside…
ON THE ORIGIN, NAMING AND USES OF SEA HOLLY
During Atlantis’ eighth invasion, When that island nation had exhausted Its supply of metal, the gardeners Left their greenhouses, went to the warriors And said, “We’ve made you coastal defenses— Blades six inches long, divided triply, Coarse-toothed, spine-edged, deep-rooted. They’ll tangle In the wrathful crab-men’s chitinous claws Rip the bellies from the Devil’s dolphins When they force their landings upon the beach.” “These are wooden weapons?” asked the warriors. “They are flowers,” came the gardeners’ reply. “How are they named? How were they created?” “We name them not at all, as is our style. Nor dare we share the secret…
JOKES WITHOUT PUNCHLINES TAKEN FROM A CELLULAR BIOLOGY LABORATORY
1. A chemical microbiologist, a pathologist and a clown are flying in a small commuter plane between Kansas City and Omaha. Halfway there, the plane bursts into flames and the pilot bails out. The passengers discover there are only two parachutes. Which one dies? 2. 1,4-dihydro-2,6-dimethyl-4-(2-nitrophenyl)-3,5-pyridinedicarboxylic acid dimethyl ester walks into a bar. On the stools next to it are a leprechaun, a unicorn, and Santa Claus. The bartender has a keg of Guinness, a bag of oats, and a plate of cookies behind the counter. He says to the newcomer, “These three regulars beside you are mean bastards if…