Abstract: I’ll get to my proof in due course. It’s not that long of an article, anyway, so why don’t you just keep on reading rather than expecting the cliff notes version here. Introduction: First, let’s be clear. I don’t really care if you believe me or not because I have tenure. You can look it up. Secondly, I only just became aware of the dire FSM controversy and the need for vigorous research on the subject whilst I was helping my son search the web for information on Tarantula’s for his 4th grade science project. One things for certain.…