“Woman Claims Puppies Were Born To Cat; Says Neighborhood Mutt Impregnated Feline“-Reuters Doggy: Before Ms. Pretty Kitty? I ran with a tough pack of stray dogs. I was always out chasing tail—usually my own. Kitty: In my strict Siamese family, we were discouraged from dating outside the breed—never mind outside the species! Doggy: When I first saw her, my heart went into heat—but she thought I was just in it for the chase. Kitty: I was like, “Down boy! You’re barking up the wrong family tree.” I don’t want to be anybody’s weird fetish-I am not into “kitty porn.” I…
The Science Creative Quarterly
By Matt Sullivan
Matt Sullivan’s humor has appeared in Salon, McSweeney’s, The Onion and Black Book.
STOP ANIMAL VIOLENCE NOW!
Dear Animal Empathizer, It’s a scene that’d be shocking if it wasn’t all too common: An innocent baby seal is stalked, murdered, its skull crushed, its bloodied body used and abused for nefarious purposes. But the perpetrator of this heinous hate crime isn’t a furrier or poacher, protected from punishment by a right-wing “population control” zealot: This serial killer of seals is a polar bear, and it’s being protected by you. Animal Wrongs. It’s the taboo topic we in the animal rights movement never dare discuss-too radical even for the radicals. Yet animal on animal violence kills more creatures each…