The latest scientific reports on climate change trot out all the familiar devastating consequences of global warming: Melting ice caps, rising sea levels, shifting weather patterns, super-hurricanes, species extinctions, droughts, drowning polar bears. Now I’m going to tell you something really scary–the single most terrifying threat that global warming poses to mankind, and one you’ve probably never considered. It is so spine-tinglingly dreadful, so blood-curdingly awful, so bone-chillingly horrible that no one on either side of the issue will speak of it. Why? Because it scares the living bejeebers out of them, that’s why. Global warming will bring back the…

An unexpected archaeological find has led experts to a startling conclusion: Stonehenge, the ancient circle of stones in southern England, may have been built by the Swiss. This radical theory first took shape in 2003 when the grave of a Bronze Age archer was discovered about three miles from Stonehenge. Archaeologists concluded that the archer was Swiss from the attitude of the body, which indicated that the man died in the act of yodeling. Since then, evidence supporting the “Swiss theory” has been mounting. The most vocal proponent is Mr. William Tell of Berne, Switzerland (born Skip Mandelbaum of Piscataway,…

The world mourned the passing of Dolly the cloned sheep in 2003, but the amiable ovine’s contributions to science did not end with her death. After three years of trial and error, the Scottish researchers who made history by manipulating genes to produce Dolly have announced another breakthrough: the creation of the world’s first clone-based haggis. Haggis, a traditional Scots dish made by combining the heart, liver and lungs of a sheep with oatmeal and suet and then cooking them in the sheep’s stomach, has not previously been linked to the science of genetics. “We thought we’d study the effects…