– FROM THE ARCHIVE – Jack and Jill went up the hill. To fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown. And Jill came tumbling after. First of all, we are not sure there’s enough clarity in this text. Scientific literature, in particular, should leave little room for confusion. Where exactly did Jack fall down? Into the well? A little ways down the hill? All the way down the hill? It’s just too vague. Worst still, we’re not convinced that the science conducted is of high enough caliber. I mean really, who would be stupid enough…
The Science Creative Quarterly
By David Ng
David (@ng_dave) is Faculty at the Michael Smith Labs. His writing has appeared in places such as McSweeney's, The Walrus, and also as an occasional blogger at boingboing.net. If you're looking for a graphic for your next science talk, he encourages you to check out his blog, popperfont.net.
THE BESTEST, MOST KICK ASS, HUMAN GENOME PROJECT
– FROM THE ARCHIVE – Mondo-Genetic-Services is proud to announce its latest venture, “The Bestest, Most Kick Ass, Human Genome Project.” Hot on the tails of the International Human Genome Sequencing Consortium and Celera Genomics, we present to you a novel approach in the elucidation of mankind’s blueprint of life. Rather than using the frequently studied yet boring human cell lines, or samples from a small group of ethnically diverse, anonymous, and likely dull individuals, we propose a completely different strategy – that is, we plan to use the genomes of individuals handpicked by the editorial staff of People magazine,…
ANALYSES OF THE SIX DEGREES OF SEPARATION OF BACONS OTHER THAN KEVIN BACON
Sir Francis Bacon, British philosopher, essayist, and scientific revolution advocate (1561 – 1626): Quite a few of them are dead. B.L.T., sandwich: A lot depends on whether the lettuce and tomato count as one degree. Bacon County, Georgia: Geographically speaking, could get you as far as Florida or South Carolina Canadian Bacon, meat cut: Network probably not as good as Kevin Bacon’s, unless of course you’re referring to pigs. Roger Bacon, Franciscan friar, English philosopher, and one of the earliest advocates of the scientific method (1214 – 1294): Sadly, all dead.
BE VERY AFRAID
Since it was very much inspired by Mr. Vonnegut, we’d like to (again) present this piece to you. He will be missed. The SCQ would also like to ask, “what are you afraid of?” Comments can be left here. – – – A few months before he died, a Nobel Prize winner wandered into my office, sat down, and proceeded to talk about science and ethics. He did this for about an hour. In fact, most of it boiled down to something like this. “Science is in a very interesting predicament these days. It has accelerated so much, in so…
GRIMACE IS A G.M.O.
March 14, 2007, 3PM: Mildred, the maid leads me onto a sandstone patio, and I have to stop and take in the marvelous view of the San Francisco Bay. Immediately, I know that this is a place for the rich and famous, appropriate for a king or queen perhaps, and certainly fitting for a fast food icon. “It’s a fucking nightmare, that’s what it is.” he says as if it were a matter of fact, shifting heavily in his lawn chair. “Those bastards, the things they do…” His voice unexpectedly trails off. “Sorry,” he looks vacantly at the shimmer bouncing…
ANYTIME
In some respects, a person reacting to the words “she’s in a coma” necessitates a cautioned approach. Is he kidding or is he serious? It’s akin to that feeling of discomfort you get when you’re not entirely sure if a woman is pregnant or just large. But to me, the phrase represents more than this confusion – it represents a bookmark in my young family’s life; despite everything else, it marks an occasion where I think we all grew up. A week before my daughter turned one, my mother-in-law was a victim of a serious car accident. The physics were…
IT’S A LUCKY THING FOR EVOLUTIONARY BIOLOGY THAT THE FOLLOWING PASSAGES AREN’T IN THE BIBLE
Jesus then entered the farm, and saw creatures of every shape and size, and so said to his followers, “Hey, my Dad made that creature, and that creature, and also that creature… Actually, now that I think about it, he made them all.” And at the early dawn of the seventh day, just before He rested, God did a lot of pretty complicated things at super duper God speed. This was so that people would think the whole Creation thing probably took a lot longer than seven days. The heavens opened and the angels proclaimed, “Fear any literate man, capable…
RANT FROM A GLACIER – CONCERNED, BITTER, AND SOMEWHERE NEAR THE NORTH POLE
– FROM THE ARCHIVES – Dear humans everywhere: People. I’m melting. I’m actually melting. Are you not paying attention to what’s going on here? Are you not following the news? Are you just out and out disregarding the collected and heated but (get this) generally agreed upon advise from a whole bunch of experts? Is it because you don’t trust them? Because please don’t tell me that you’d rather trust the advice of something like the current U.S. administration – an administration that (by the way) sounds sort of actually o.k. with the idea of the Earth and everything else…
DAVE NG IS BOTH A SCIENTIST AND SOMEONE WHO WRITES NASTY REVIEWS ON BOOKS HE HASN’T ACTUALLY READ
“Where The Heart Is” by Billie Letts. This book sucks. Why there is a picture of a house on the front cover escapes me, but let me save you the effort of reading this crap. Your heart is sort of in between your left and right lung. “Everything Is Illuminated” by Jonathan Safran Foer. I have to say that the general premise and plot of this bore of a novel is, quite simply, horrendous. I mean how much conflict are you really going to get when the principle setting for the plot is on the surface of the sun, and…