– FROM THE ARCHIVE – Concerned over the failing health of Grover, PBS is in a frantic search for a mate for the rare blue species. Grover is presently in poor health. It is, incidentally, the country’s lone blue Grover held in captivity. The rare animal is caged in a pen inside the muppet animal research center in Alexandria, Va., and has been for the past 36 years since his birth. For reasons shrouded in mystery, Grover has shunned mating since he attained adulthood. PBS sources said muppet personnel are actively considering finding a suitable match for Grover, preferably of…

Overheard “It’s not as if we were asking (the chimps) to give blood or write cheques to tsunami victims.” Joan Silk of the University of California, Los Angeles, part of a team that looked for evidence that chimpanzees (Pan troglodytes) will help other members of their group. The study revealed that apes don’t seem to give a monkey’s ass about their pals. (Nature) “Sword swallowing thus raises at least two uncertainties. What is the incidence of complications, and how often do they stomach it?” Brian Witcombe, radiologist consultant, Gloucestershire Royal Hospital, UK on the incidence of esophageal perforations and other…

Overheard “If a woman has something implanted permanently, it might as well do something useful.” BT Laboratories’ analyst Ian Pearson on computer chips that would equip one boob with an MP3 player and the other with a person’s whole music collection. (Ananova.com) “As one judge put it, if a person knows or should know that eating copious orders of super-sized McDonald’s products is unhealthy and could result in weight gain, it is not the place of the law to protect them from their own excesses.” James Sensenbrenner, chairman of Judiciary Committee, on what has been called “The Cheeseburger Bill,” which…

Overheard “In the first few days, she squealed for cigarettes every now and then, but as her life became more colorful, she gradually forgot about them altogether.” A zookeeper on Ai Ai, a chimp at a zoo in China that has finally quit smoking after 16 years. (Ananova.com) “We make kids wear helmets and knee pads,” Dr. Goldstein said. “But no one thinks about protecting the crotch.” a Boston urologist, Dr. Irwin Goldstein on new studies showing the link between bicycle saddles and impotence. (NY Times) ”We call him our ‘missionary lizard,’ “ Looy said. ”When people realize the T.…

Overheard “We have done what we can for him but he may never regain use of the organ again, at least for sexual purposes.” Doctor Nicolae Bacalbasa in Galati, Romania, on a farmer who broke his penis by dropping a sack of grain on it while ogling his wife. (Ananova.com)   “It wasn’t like people were holding off until the ninth inning and then running to the emergency department.” Children’s Hospital Boston researcher John Brownstein on the drop in emergency room visits during the Boston Red Sox games. (Boston Globe)   “Tracking them with advanced technologies and observing their sex…